Question Love with Hate

STEP ONE
Write on a piece of paper the person, ideology, state of mind or whatever you value highly and respect most of all in the world. Below this write a list (about ten things) of everything that is wrong with him/her/it. Remember that it’s important that you distance yourself in order to avoid partiality and it’ll make it easier for you to compile the list. If you find it really hard think of whoever this person/ideal/state’s enemy is and look at him/her/it from their point of view. If you still have trouble you can go to extremes like writing down that the person is a Fucking Faggot, a Nigger or a Whore (ignore all your political and moral apprehensions about such words since this is only a tool to achieve a goal). When you are done look at you list and try to find truth in the statements. Really try. When this is done think about it for a while and maybe let these views remain in your mind for some time, even days. You could chant to youself; “X is a whore, X is fake, X is wrong because of this etc etc.”

STEP TWO
When you feel the time is right return to the source of this person. For instance if it was a writer you respect most of all perhaps read the first book you ever read by him/her, or if it’s a close friend or relative look at old photographs or talk to the person about how you met or about things that really connect you. You get the idea.

STEP THREE
Now it is time for evaluation:

1. Do I still respect this person/ideal as much?
2. Do I have a different view, and if so what?
3. Is this person no longer valid?
4. Have I risen above this person?

If you find out this person/ideal is no longer valid to you and there is a need to move on then keep the list you compiled somewhere (or give it away as a gift). If you still have respect and love then burn it.


CONCLUSION
This is a very healthy exercise and it is not meant to be destructive in any way, but it does speed up intellectual and spiritual self-growth. Sometimes we hold, especially certain artists, so high we refuse to ever disagree with them. This is most prominent in the teenage years when many kids idolize someone, like a rockstar or a poet/writer, and then never let go of this person. It is important to hate what you love for two reasons:

1. You come to realize, if after the exercise you still have respect, the true source of your admiration and respect that now will be stronger than ever.

2. Or you come to realize you have evolved far beyond this person and are now ready to seek new paths. This person helped you so far and you might be grateful for what this person has done for you, but now it is time to move on.

I found it very helpful especially if there is a narrow-mindedness about some things (which everyone has) these techniques kind of opens that up, which is good! Oh and I also found superior than writing it was to record your voice saying these things and then listen to it and hear YOU say those things! Personally I found it funny and invigorating to hear myself say:

“Paracelsus is nothing but a heroin pushing ugly toad that deserved the ignorant card history has dealt him. His theories on magnetism and healing are downright stupid. What a fucking book burning little Swiss maggot! Bombastic, damn right!”

(1 April 2005)

© deviadah